arclightning | deer country inbox

...yeah.

[ Mako snorts in quiet recognition, that feeling he gets every time he sees Raleigh: the particular ache of seeing yourself, reflected in another person in a way that can be terrifying. Mako doesn't like the soft parts of himself getting so easily exposed, but Raleigh does it on the regular. And still he's here, walking through frost-tipped grass beside him, scanning the grounds and watching his own breath mist ghostly in front of him. ]

Tell me about it. I still don't—what's your job out here? Make sure Chuck doesn't kill anyone with his alcohol?

[Maybe it's nice, sometimes, to have your soft underbelly recognized in the safety of another like person. To be seen and it not be a threat to that part of yourself. To simply be. Raleigh has no agenda.

He chuckles and shrugs a little bit.]

Something like that. We've got the chickens and mushrooms to look after.. and I've been trying to teach myself to use these abilities to weld. I think my hunting days are behind me but I still want to contribute. I don't do charity and I won't be made useless again.

Again?

[ Mako knows the sentiment like he knows the scars on his hand, but he glances curiously at Raleigh anyway, sensing a story. ]

[Ngh. Raleigh takes a beat and stops walking, glancing up at the moon for a moment. When he speaks, it's low- the sort of graveled velvet born of heartache and memory.]

My brother and I were warriors. You remember, I've told you. But when he died it.. destroyed me. I don't think I told you, him dying.. it was my fault. I made a bad call and he paid for it. A mistake, yeah, but it is what it is. I killed him.

After that, I was- dead, I think. Alive but dead. I wanted to be dead. My body was in pieces, my brain- [a low whistle.]

I remember being so angry they'd saved my life. Because what kind of life was I supposed to have? What was there to live for? I was useless.

[Raleigh shrugs a little bit, slowly, like he's in pain. And he is. Even now it is so painful to think about. Even all these years later, even with Yancy standing right beside Mako, who Raleigh knows isn't really there, arms crossed as he listens. Six years and some change and that wound is still rotting.

He takes a breath and lets it out, controlled under iron grasp.]

I don't ever want to feel like that again. So if it means I'm farming mushrooms... then I'm farming mushrooms.

[ His fault.

They're heavy words, dropped low into the night and then pushed past, but Mako keeps them close for a second, turning them over in his head.

His fault.

If Bolin dying was his fault—some call he made, some suggestion he gave—Mako wouldn't be much better. He couldn't. He has carved the arc of his life around the shape of Bolin, scraped and scrabbled to give him a future, hope, a safe home. He's fucked up, for sure. Mako's old enough now to know that much: he wasn't meant to be a brother and a parent all at once, he's probably fucked Bolin up as much as he messed himself up but losing him like that for good, while connected like Raleigh said they were—

Mako had pulled away from touch earlier, but as Raleigh talks about being useless and sucks in that steadying breath, he leans in again, drops an arm around Raleigh's shoulders.

For a long time, it's just that: touch, and the quiet night, and then Mako manages to gather his thoughts into something coherent. ]

Being useless is the worst.

[ Preach. He snorts a second later. ]

I mean, feeling useless is the worst. It's—I don't know. I hate it, too. Wu keeps saying you don't have to have a use, but.

[It's heavy, this cross he carries on his shoulder. Bulky and dragging, unable to set it down. Even now, even all these years later (six years, seven months, twelve days), Raleigh can't let go of his brother. He is a presence in everything, all around. Every thought, every action.

But there is a part of Raleigh that wouldn't let go even if he had the option (can't, won't) because no one else in Trench knew Yancy. And when Raleigh lets go, his brother will be gone forever.

The voice in the back of his mind murmurs that there is a thread of Yancy left in him, in his head, that didn't leave when the drift was severed. That he might be the vessel containing the last piece of his brother.

In his quietest, darkest moments, that thought was the only thing keeping Raleigh alive.

He feels Yancy particularly intensely tonight. It could be the drink. It could be the presence of Mako who raised his own little brother much in the way Yancy raised him. Who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and tries so damn hard to do the right thing. Who grew up too fast, too young, and would do it all again in a heartbeat if he had to. Funny, good looking, dependable. Yancy would have loved him.]

Well..

[Rolling the thought around in his head, instinctively leaning into the touch as though it offers a relief he can't articulate.]

Why don't you do something you never had the chance to do back home? Something for yourself. You're smart, driven.. Have you considered going to school?

[ School.

Mako's fingers tighten, almost reflexively—he's here, and Raleigh is here, and sometimes they need that reminder—and he looks out at the wards with a small frown, wondering. ]

I don't even know what the school here does. Isn't it all weird blood stuff?

[ Which isn't a no, because of course, he has thought about it. He thinks about it every day, in a way, all the knowledge he'd missed, everything he didn't get a chance to learn. How much he'd loved school before everything exploded, how he looked forward to going until going wasn't an option anymore and he'd had to admit to himself that Bolin was more important. It was a dream given up on, rather than deferred, and Mako hasn't let himself pick it back up again long enough to know he wants it. ]

[A beat as Raleigh considers the question.]

Some of it, probably. But it can't all be blood. I know Arthur is there studying all the time. He just brought me some books on metallurgy.

...which is...

[ Not a word Mako has ever heard before, a direct result of all the school he didn't attend. Yay!

Maybe burning something right now is a good idea. ]

[Raleigh opens his mouth and then closes it again. How do you even describe.. it isn't just blacksmithing, it's the science, too. It's everything to do with metal.

He decides to make a risky comparison.]

Mmm... metalbending?

[ Oh, asked and answered, Mako accepts that without question, though his brows shoot up. ]

You trying to learn how to metalbend? That's an earthbender thing. Firebenders can't—

Well. Guess firebenders can't do ice, either, and we can do that. Maybe you can. Can you?

[Ah. So close and yet so far, Rals.

He squints a little, but it's mostly at his own failure to speak fuckin words that make sense.]

No. It's kind of the.. non bending way of doing that stuff. Say you want to stick two pieces of steel together, right? There are a couple ways of doing it but I like arc welding which uses electricity to superheat the things you're bonding. I thought maybe I could apply the same idea to these coldblood abilities and it turns out...yeah. It works.

[ Mako wheels around, blinking at him. ]

You figured that out? It works? Can you—

[ Show me, he doesn't still know how to say. It's hard to ask for help, even from Raleigh. ]

Yeah, of course.

[Quickly filling the space without leaving Mako hanging. He knows you too well by now. Raleigh grins and moves them towards the barn for real this time. Maybe it's nerdy or whatever but building things? Tools and cool machines? It's a passion of his. He's only too happy to share that with someone and poor Chuck can only listen to Raleigh yap on about welding for so long before he loses it. He and Arthur have been bearing that brunt for over a year now, bless.]

C'mere, c'mere look.

[In the back of the barn he's built a workshop with a clear barrier between him and the chickens. They're sweet but he's nearly roasted a curious hen once or thrice and until he can build a real workshop this will have to do. The big workbench up against the back wall is covered in scrap metal and pieces he's been practicing on - everything from large pieces of beam to the tiny attempts of a sheet steel crane. To the right is his library, all acquired for him by Arthur, and all open with various notes scribbled on papers stuck in between. Many of the notes nearest and easiest to read are notes from Mako's own classes. Things he's said or done. Observations Raleigh has made during and then hastily written down before he forgot. He picks up a piece of corner angle and offers it to show. It's clearly recent and the one he's most proud of because the weld line is very tidy. The rejects are in a heap on the floor to the left are much less so. Hide the shame.]

You know, I didn't think it was your responsibility to help the coldbloods when we got here but I'm glad you did it anyway. It was your willingness to teach that helped me to figure it out. These books talk about blood and strength of will to force magic do what you want.. but you can't bend fire to your will like that. Trying to force submission makes it choke and die. You have to let it move through you and respect it as a partnership the same way you would a person. You taught me that.

[ This is all... so impressive. It kind of reminds Mako of that factory Asami and Varrick brought them to, with pieces of scrap everywhere and half-baked ideas visible. He hadn't known Raleigh was into this kind of thing, feels a momentary pang of guilt for the lack of knowledge about his friend. It's overtaken very quickly by embarrassment at all the sincerity, and he looks away from tugging the little piece into his own fingers with a quiet cough. Sincerity? What is he supposed to do with that? ]

Well, it's... what any self-respecting firebender would've taught you. Trying to tame fire is like trying to tame a wild jaguar-impala. It's stupid and it's going to get you killed.

Raleigh, this is... pretty amazing. That you figured this out.

[Raleigh's cheeks darken slightly and he waves it off. Compliments?? What's he supposed to do with THAT.

And he would never dream of comparing himself to Asami, not that he knows her. He isn't clever like that, he's just some guy in a shed.]

It takes a village. I'm just really tired of not having the tools I need so what choice did I have?

[But said with a wry smile. Okay.. maybe he likes flattery a little bit when it comes from someone he trusts.]

I got the idea from Arthur at first. I thought this coldbood stuff gave you one element and that was it. You've got two but you were born with fire so I didn't think it counted.. but seeing him use fire and electricity made me think maybe I could. And if there's one thing I'm good at it's not knowing when to give up. Got lucky...

You said something about using electricity once, didn't you? Grab some stuff, why don't you try it.

I can bend lightning, but this isn't—

[ The same, he doesn't say, instead grabbing for a little piece of metal and then another one, a flat little shard of a thing. Sparks, David had taught him. Control. He's been working on that, bouncing sparks between his fingers in a way that would have been irresponsible back home. It still makes him think about Zolt grinning at him like a wolfbat while Mako's ears rang and the ground tried to swallow him. Lightning's a dangerous mistress, he'd said, and something about those words or the way he said them made Mako's skin crawl.

The metal bites into his palm and Mako drags himself into the present, makes himself look up at Raleigh who is not Zolt and who has never done anything like real lightningbending, which means— ]

Show me.

[A nod and Raleigh reaches for his goggles, tossing an extra set to his friend. Safety first and all that.

This probably isn't something they should be doing right now but the conversation is sobering and something about making real fire seems to eat the liquid form in his veins. Helpful, he guesses, so there's that.]

I start like this, small flame.

[Nothing unfamiliar as he gestures for Mako to hold two bits of steel together and calls flame to his right index and middle finger. Just like you would focus a blowtorch for heat he takes a breath and dials in, the flame pulling conical and bright, red to yellow to white and then finally blue.]

You need two hands. One is the heat, the other is the spark. Keep the flame as hot as you can but tight. Like it's on the point of a needle, okay?

[Raleigh glances up. Easy enough so far, right? Right.]

Now here's where it's hard. Imagine your powers are like a tree. One branch is fire, one is ice for you, and the other is the lightening. I think about it like I'm running a current up from the roots of the tree, the place where all your bending comes from. For me it's my chest and the branches are my arms.

[Another breath, a moment of stillness, letting it flow right through him. When he can feel it coming he moves his flame across the join of the metal to prep the surface before bringing his left hand into play, balancing that pointer finger on the other side so that it looks like he might try to pinch the metal.]

Same thing, balance the lightening on the tip of a needle on your left side, and then together- this is gonna be loud so brace-

[He touches the join with each finger, resulting in a sudden clap-flash. It's only a third of a second but it's ear-splitting and sparks fly everywhere. An intensely hot, intensely focused lightening strike right there in miniature, as evidenced by the fusion it leaves behind.

Pleased with the result, Raleigh releases his hold on the energy and lets it dissipate into the ether which buzzes with excitement all around. Is he smug? A little. He's pretty proud of himself.]

[ He should be smug.

Mako can feel that build of electric charge, the way it conducts, the way Raleigh thinks about it and moves with it—he holds his excitement, because Raleigh is concentrating and he doesn't want his friend exploding into bits because Mako got excited but when the join claps and flashes, Mako yells aloud with something like triumph. When the light fades, he's grinning wide at Raleigh. ]

You're a lightningbender.

[Yer a wizard ‘arry-

No, Raleigh dumb. Bad. Don’t.

He thinks it, though, grinning ear to ear in return. And while he isn’t sure he’s a lighteningbender the way Mako thinks.. maybe he could be? He’s developed the skill to do this one specific task and nothing else but that doesn’t meant he couldn’t..right?

Raleigh inspects the weld and decides that it’s good. Ugly but strong and would be easy to grind down later for a pretty seam.]

That does have a nice ring to it. You should take some pieces home with you to try.

[Because he knows Mako and this is a weird skill application and the likelihood that he might not get it right away is there, however small. Forcing him to try right now might just embarrass him.

A beat. He looks curious and now is his chance.]

.. what’s it mean to be a lighteningbender? How do you connect to that? Like the current in the air? Can you summon actual lightening strikes?

Kind of.

[ Mako pockets the little piece of metal and wiggles his hand. He doesn't have the kind of deep understanding that somebody like Iroh or Zuko might: Zolt wasn't the most spiritual of lightningbenders. Mako tries not to think about the lack of it, most days. ]

It's... some people can only redirect it. That's easier to learn how to do. The hardest thing is what you just did, actually generating it. You're pulling the yin energy inside you away from the yang, letting it recombine.

Actually—c'mon. I can show you.

[ Mako's never been the best teacher with words, and Raleigh probably knows that by now. ]

Safer outside.

[Raleigh agrees and nods, following Mako back out into the yard a safe distance from their flammable structures while he processes the concept of yin and yang inside him. How do you isolate that? He wasn't working from that perspective at all but now that Mako has said it he sees the logic.

Raleigh isn't a logic person.

He's a fly by the seat of his pants and hope it works out person.]

If lightening in yin then what's the yang? Or is it the snap of both that makes it happen?

It's both.

[ Mako heads out into the clearest space he can find, away from chickens and vegetables and fence. The stars glimmer coldly overhead, unobscured by clouds. Slowly, he shifts his feet apart, wide and grounded. ]

We all have both inside us. It's how you can bend in the first place: you're just channeling energy. I mean, I am. I don't know how blood stuff makes it work—

[ He's beginning to move his arms in wide, slow circles, looping them around and around to build up energy with both index and middle fingers pointed straight outward. The air is charged. ]

—but that's how it works for me. You have to make yourself completely calm.

[ And sure enough, his voice is flat, devoid of feeling. It's like a meditation in movement. ]

No feeling. Anything in there, the energy will get caught, and it might explode on you. So you pull apart that energy with your body as a pathway, and—

[ Electricity, purple-bright and crackling, sparks at Mako's fingertips and then spreads, trailing behind his fingers as he moves them, like a current building and looping on itself. He goes silent, watching it. The air smells like ice and ozone, particles splitting and recombining. Mako's face is still as stone, and he moves and moves and doesn't think about a giant mecha. The arcs get bigger and faster, and the lightning gets brighter until finally Mako slams his left arm straight into the air and his right arm down at the ground and lets all the charge zip through his body like he's a conductor. True lightning slams into the sky, discharging through Mako like a lightning rod. Thunder follows a second behind, clapping through the air around them.

Mako grins. ]

That's the traditional way.

[That's the traditional way. With a grin. GOD Mako you are SO COOL.

Raleigh stands there in absolute awe as it all happens. Like his thing is cool but it is nothing in comparison to man who has been honing these gifts his entire life. Seeing it up close and personal- feeling it up close and personal- is an honor.

He's always been incredibly impressed by Mako, for many reasons but his grasp on the elements is amazing. Raleigh has nothing like this in his world and it's a damn shame. He thinks, perhaps, if his people had personal connections to the interdependent web of life then they wouldn't have been so hasty to destroy it with greed. Maybe, if they'd had an Avatar.. if spirits and harmony were a real, tangible things instead of a hopeful concept governed by advertising and consumerism, life would be better. And maybe, when the Kaiju did come, they could have reacted differently. Imagine a world where the Avatar and a team of deep sea water and earthbenders could have sealed the rift.

Raleigh's ears are ringing from the thunder clap. When he blinks, he sees an outline in white and green and black around everything from the light.

Mako working like that, showing his process and summoning this incredible force of nature.. he is so powerful.]

Wow..

[Finally. A little breathless. Raleigh wets his lips. It's not his place but he is so proud of his friend. And proud to be his friend.]

Mako you are.. really something.

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