arclightning | deer country inbox

Technically you can't even touch your own reflection. Reflections aren't touchable things. They're concepts.

What were you doing up?

[Varian responds back immediately, he's definitely not been sleeping between replies.]

Actually it's the return of light to a surface but I will give you the not being able to technically touch it thing.

I can't sleep. More than usual. The usual stuff I use to make me go to sleep when I can't switch my brain off isn't working.

Some kind of science thing, right? Returning light to a surface?

[ Mako is concerned. More than usual, especially now that he's not wrapped around Wu, who has been easing the otherwise ever-present anxiety. It clutches at Mako's lungs, knotting his belly into a tight leaden ball.

He's already up and moving just to try and do something about it. ]

Tell me what you usually use to get to sleep.

Not sleeping great either.

Edited (hit enter :T) 2021-09-05 01:53 (UTC)

Yes! That's exactly right. Smooth surfaces relfect photons so it gives you the relection.

[His brain might be screaming nonsensical garbage at him now, but at least he can still science.]

I have these magical pyjamas that Usagi got me, and a pin that Fern gave me. Both of those things alone are usually enough to make me drowsy enough to drop off and both of them together can put me out for the count. The tower in our house has an enchantment on it to ease sleep too, but that's not working either. Fern tried them and they worked on him, so the items aren't faulty.

Luz is struggling too, she's like... hyper-cleaning everything, but I don't know if it's the same as what I have. I'm anxious and I don't know about what.

Edited 2021-09-05 20:47 (UTC)

[ Huh, that sounds very similiar to what he's been going through—

Wait. ]

Edited 2021-09-06 02:23 (UTC)

What kind of blood does Luz have?

It looks pretty normal? She definitely doesn't have the same as me and you. No elemental abilities, either- trust me, if she had those, we'd never hear the end of it.

But I've never seen her this stressed before, either. I know she's missing people who didn't come make it through the door, but this is a lot, even for her. I'm worried.

Edited 2021-09-06 10:10 (UTC)

[ Well, there goes that theory. ]

There's a good chance this is because of the city. If this is whatever was underneath Deerington this whole time, I find it hard to believe the city wouldn't be affected in some way. Back in Republic City even before we had a spirit portal, spirit vines took over the city when there was an imbalance. This could be similar, which means we can expect some of the stuff that happened in town to happen here.

Like nobody being able to sleep and worrying pointlessly about everything.

Happening to me too.

[It was a good attempt!]

That makes sense. And we can't discount that whatever we did with those eggs ended up having a massive effect on this world. The Moss King definitely seemed to be hinting that they were more than what they seemed. We probably...helped this along, in some way. Which is depressing to think about.

I know saying 'I'm glad you can't either' probably comes across as awful, but I don't mean it like that. It's more... not being alone. At least if other people have the same problems it means it's not just something in me that's broken, y'know? I've got enough of that already.

[That much, Mako is well aware of.]

I hope it stops soon, I never thought I'd say this, but I genuinely want to get some sleep.

...Also Fern would probably appreciate not being woken up every few hours.

If the Moss King wanted to help us then he could have been more specific. Leaving us to guess what the best outcome was based on cryptic words and our own guts was a pretty stupid way to handle things.

But you're probably not wrong. They seemed important.

And anyway, I get it. What you mean. We're not in this alone, which means it's probably not just us and pretty likely it's some outside force. All we can do is try to fight it.

Are you just.

For me, I just can't stop thinking about everything I could be doing. Everything we're missing. My mind just races.

He was cryptic when I first met him, too. I think it's just a thing he does. It's deeply annoying and not actually helpful at all. But he seemed to think he was being helpful, when I spoke to him.

[He likes the Moss King, okay. He thinks plant people are neat.]

So much for moving into a better life, huh? Seems like we've just got more unknowns- probably more dangerous unknowns than we dealt with before.

But yeah. That's what it feels like. Something's wrong and I can't put my finger on what or how we're supposed to be dealing with it. I know October's coming, but it feels more than that.

Was a better life ever promised to us, or were we all just collectively hoping that would happen? This is why hope is a bad thing to hang your future on.

[ Spoken like a true cynic. ]

Yeah. That's exactly it. And we can't solve what we can't even identify.

I'm starting to think it was collective, desperate hoping at this point because anything had to be better than a literally collapsing nightmare.

No, we can't. And given we know next to nothing about this world it's very overwhelming. Something I'm sure would feel better if we could sleep, but we can't so we're stuck in this cycle of anxiety panic and I'd really like it to stop now.

And that never gets anyone to a good place. Great.

Maybe just give up on the idea of sleep. Sometimes wanting something too bad makes it harder to get.

It sure doesn't.

I guess you're right. Maybe I should just follow Luz's example and frantically clean the house with her or something. Better than sitting here and thinking about it.

If you run out of house to clean you can come help clean up the theater. It's a mess. I'm not going to run out of things to clean for a while.

Anyway, I'm making supply lists and a potential map for a new safehouse network. Doesn't hurt to be prepared. Sounds like Luz has the right idea. At some point you'll get so worn out even your brain can't keep you up.

You know, I might take you up on that. I know Wu was saying he wanted some help with the lighting, I can add cleaning to the regime, too.

That's a great idea- trying to set up safehouses again. You're always welcome to use our place. And yeah, she might be onto something. I'm willing to give anything a try at this point.

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