...I think I just did? [ Wu says weakly, looking down at the mess on his foot. ] I, uh, no. I have never intentionally cracked an egg. I told you I never had to cook! Just, just tell me what to do.
Okay here is the thing, Mako now finally understands the depths to the statement I never had to cook. Wu has never cracked an egg or probably held a kitchen knife and he doesn't know what kneading is. It should be—sad, or something, but mostly it's just typical, and there is egg white dripping wetly from his foot onto the tiled floor, and Wu looks so forlorn about all of it that Mako, after looking at the egg for a drawn-out second, just starts laughing.
Really, actually laughing. It starts as tiny snickers and quickly escalates until his shoulders are shaking and he has a hand up to his mouth like he's trying to hide it. ]
Mako! [ Wu huffs indignantly, waving a hand at him. He frowns, crossing his arms over his chest. ] Why are you laughing? It's funny that I can't cook? The King can't fend for himself. It's so funny that I find myself in situation after situation that I'm horribly unprepared for. Hilarious!
[ Unfortunately for Wu, this protest just makes Mako laugh harder, his hand now pressed tight over his mouth like he's really trying to stop it. He looks up, meeting Wu's eyes for a second. ]
Sorry— [ He isn't. His words are coming through laughter. ] But yes, Wu. It's objectively [ another snort of laughter ] funny that there's an egg on my foot.
Next time you say you can't do something I'll take you at face value.
Thank you! [ Wu throws his arms in the air, which he immediately regrets because that makes his rubs hurt too.
He turns away from Mako, his face feeling hot, arms crossing over his chest again. ] I'm not lying to you. This isn't what my life was like. Ever. I have no idea what I'm doing. And I apologize for the egg on your foot, but I would appreciate it if you'd stop laughing at me.
You don't have to apologize, I just said it was funny—
[ He really needs to get this under control, though, because obviously it's making Wu feel bad. His shoulders are so stiff, and guilt curls up coldly in Mako's belly.
Mako sucks in a breath and reaches for a kitchen towel, his smile fading into a small frown. ] Why are you upset?
I'm upset-- [ Wu sucks in a breath, taking a step back from him. He can't be that close to Mako right now, even if since he's been in Deerington, touching him is the one thing that calms down the swirling of nerves and fear in his stomach. ] I'm upset because since I got here, all you've done is tell me that I'm wrong, or that I'm bad at something, or that I'm unprepared. Don't you think I know that? Don't you think that I know that I was never prepared for, for anything real! I was prepared to spend my life locked in the Upper Ring like my parents, and their parents, and my entire family for the last two hundred years!
I don't know what I'm doing, and you're the person here who should understand that more than anyone else, but you just keep, keep laughing at me.
[ Mako bites down on his own words before they escape. He wants to snap, that isn't what I meant and you're not listening to me, then, but he thinks about Korra storming out and the betrayal on her face after he'd talked to President Raiko. He'd thought she wanted his support, but what she wanted really was his trust, his understanding, his belief. Mako hadn't realized that, at the time.
Had messed everything up, because he wouldn't actually listen.
Anger and frustration and, oddly, hurt, flare inside him, sharp and hot, but Mako swallows around them and presses his own teeth together and listens, watching Wu's face. He lets Wu's words settle into silence.
He's so thin. It's not the right thing to be thinking at all but the thought is there before Mako can do anything about it, followed quickly by, I can't mess this up, and he doesn't know what this is but he remembers Wu in that stupid car, too, his expression shattering, and remembers his own resignation and panic.
Mako sucks in a breath. ] Okay. I... get that. I'm sorry. That isn't... what I meant.
[ If he were at the pinnacle of his personal growth he would leave it there but there are words clawing at him and he doesn't have the strength to keep them back, so he continues, quiet, a little urgent, ] But you have to give me time to catch up to this version of you, Wu. Most of the time I've known you, you had no idea how unprepared you were. You just waltzed into everything assuming you'd be fine because you'd always been fine.
You're... changing, but I, uh. I guess you did it when I wasn't looking.
He stares at Mako for a long second, his lips pressed together against another bout of tears, which he really doesn't need right now but he's been really stressed and confused and he's had to face a lot about himself in the last month and that's hard.
And here is Mako, apologizing like he means it. Not because he thinks he offended a Prince or a King, but because he thinks he offended Wu, the person.
He sucks in a breath. ]
I don't know what you mean, Mako. You do know me. I saw you. Right before I came here. Well, sort of. You were sort of brainwashed. Sort of... helping them brainwash me.
That's beside the point. I'm still me. I don't, I don't understand what you're saying.
[ Mako winces at the reminder, glancing away. Guilt wraps like twine around him. ]
Yeah. That.
I guess I mean that—I saw you for three days for the first time in months, and then all of that happened. That's not exactly time to get used to this, and you have changed. You have to see that.
Wu isn't wrong. Mako's been laughing... not at him, exactly, but around him, because of him, a lot since he got here. He hasn't stopped think about why, really, too preoccupied with the blizzards and Korra's disappearance and trying to push through his fever.
It's definitely not how he's changed that's funny, though. ] I don't think it's that.
I don't think it's being a king that's changed you, either. I think it's... taking responsibility. You didn't have to, before. You had people to do that for you. And, you know, people to cook for you and all that stuff, but you decided not to keep letting that happen, and to do it yourself, and that's what started the change. At least, that I noticed.
[ Mako's brows draw together, hard, and he looks away. He has no idea if he's getting his point across and the familiar discomfort, the sense that he isn't, that he's missing something or messing it up again, sparks uncomfortably under his skin. He swallows around it. ]
I'm not laughing at you, though. I promise. Not like you're thinking.
Then why are you laughing? [ Wu asks again, earnestly.
It's not like he's not used to being laughed at. That was part of how he survived, a lot of his life. But Mako laughing at him, when he didn't intend for him to? That's what hurts. ]
I-- yes. I am taking responsibility. I saw what not doing that did, to me, to the Earth Kingdom, and, well, to the whole world. [ He grimaces ] It's because I didn't do anything that Kuvira attacked Republic City. I, that, I realized that. In the past few months. [ And since he's been here. It's not his fault, exactly, but he feels like he could have done more to try and stop it from happening.
But there he goes, getting too serious. And Mako is looking at him with that little crease between his eyebrows, and Wu feels too seen, so he adds: ]
He glances at Mako, then away. ] Okay. I, I suppose I am a little strange.
[ He rubs his hands together, then swings his arms at his sides. ] That, of course. I didn't mean to imply that you would. I just, you were laughing, a lot, and I'm still, still, the whole thing in the car. [ Wow he's not making any sense now either, but he still feels weird, weird about himself, weird about Mako, weird about being here. ]
[ Mako's turn to completely not expect that turn in conversation. He blinks, staring at Wu in complete silence for a second. ] You. What? The thing in the car? What does that have to do with any of this?
I'm still a bit shaken from it. [ Wu admits it softly ] I don't know, Mako. I, I've spent the last few days thinking about that, about this world, about, about myself. I'm a little on edge. I thought coming over here and being, being normal would be helpful, but clearly it's just making this worse. I, maybe I should go.
Okay. [ Wu sighs softly, and leans back on the kitchen island across from Mako. ] If you're sure.
[ He glances at Mako, to check, then nods. ] I... I think I said, it would make sense, if these... these things we have to experience, if they're personal, or else why would we be the ones to experience them?
[ Something like fear bolts coldly through Mako. He straightens up despite himself, his face falling into something very purposefully impassive.
Wu had said something like that. Mako didn't want to think about it, didn't want to rehash the conversation Lysithea so aptly described as dramatic nonsense. What good would it do? He couldn't possibly have meant those things because he and Wu have never been on a date, aren't even remotely like that.
But Wu's also not wrong. Mako's been shoving all his thoughts about it away, trying not to think about David or his conversation with Korra or any of the confusing uncertain things swirling inside him. It's too much to think about, and he has other things to focus on.
His voice isn't quite as level as he'd like it to be when he finally says something. ] Yeah, you did say that.
[ Wu nods, not really sensing any of Mako's emotions because he's so wrapped up in his own. ] Yeah. So I was thinking about that, about why we, why I, would see that. And you, you also know that back home, it's not really okay, two men being together. Or two women. Korra and Asami aside, I'm not sure that I know anyone, like... that. Gay, I read. That's what they call it here.
[ Here it comes. Wu sucks in a breath, his eyes somewhere near Mako's feet. His lips quirk a little, seeing that there's still egg on his foot. ] And, well. I think it was trying to get me to think about it. To really think about it. I, I've always liked men. I just wasn't allowed to. Am not allowed to.
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Okay here is the thing, Mako now finally understands the depths to the statement I never had to cook. Wu has never cracked an egg or probably held a kitchen knife and he doesn't know what kneading is. It should be—sad, or something, but mostly it's just typical, and there is egg white dripping wetly from his foot onto the tiled floor, and Wu looks so forlorn about all of it that Mako, after looking at the egg for a drawn-out second, just starts laughing.
Really, actually laughing. It starts as tiny snickers and quickly escalates until his shoulders are shaking and he has a hand up to his mouth like he's trying to hide it. ]
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Sorry— [ He isn't. His words are coming through laughter. ] But yes, Wu. It's objectively [ another snort of laughter ] funny that there's an egg on my foot.
Next time you say you can't do something I'll take you at face value.
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He turns away from Mako, his face feeling hot, arms crossing over his chest again. ] I'm not lying to you. This isn't what my life was like. Ever. I have no idea what I'm doing. And I apologize for the egg on your foot, but I would appreciate it if you'd stop laughing at me.
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[ He really needs to get this under control, though, because obviously it's making Wu feel bad. His shoulders are so stiff, and guilt curls up coldly in Mako's belly.
Mako sucks in a breath and reaches for a kitchen towel, his smile fading into a small frown. ] Why are you upset?
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I don't know what I'm doing, and you're the person here who should understand that more than anyone else, but you just keep, keep laughing at me.
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[ Mako bites down on his own words before they escape. He wants to snap, that isn't what I meant and you're not listening to me, then, but he thinks about Korra storming out and the betrayal on her face after he'd talked to President Raiko. He'd thought she wanted his support, but what she wanted really was his trust, his understanding, his belief. Mako hadn't realized that, at the time.
Had messed everything up, because he wouldn't actually listen.
Anger and frustration and, oddly, hurt, flare inside him, sharp and hot, but Mako swallows around them and presses his own teeth together and listens, watching Wu's face. He lets Wu's words settle into silence.
He's so thin. It's not the right thing to be thinking at all but the thought is there before Mako can do anything about it, followed quickly by, I can't mess this up, and he doesn't know what this is but he remembers Wu in that stupid car, too, his expression shattering, and remembers his own resignation and panic.
Mako sucks in a breath. ] Okay. I... get that. I'm sorry. That isn't... what I meant.
[ If he were at the pinnacle of his personal growth he would leave it there but there are words clawing at him and he doesn't have the strength to keep them back, so he continues, quiet, a little urgent, ] But you have to give me time to catch up to this version of you, Wu. Most of the time I've known you, you had no idea how unprepared you were. You just waltzed into everything assuming you'd be fine because you'd always been fine.
You're... changing, but I, uh. I guess you did it when I wasn't looking.
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He stares at Mako for a long second, his lips pressed together against another bout of tears, which he really doesn't need right now but he's been really stressed and confused and he's had to face a lot about himself in the last month and that's hard.
And here is Mako, apologizing like he means it. Not because he thinks he offended a Prince or a King, but because he thinks he offended Wu, the person.
He sucks in a breath. ]
I don't know what you mean, Mako. You do know me. I saw you. Right before I came here. Well, sort of. You were sort of brainwashed. Sort of... helping them brainwash me.
That's beside the point. I'm still me. I don't, I don't understand what you're saying.
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Yeah. That.
I guess I mean that—I saw you for three days for the first time in months, and then all of that happened. That's not exactly time to get used to this, and you have changed. You have to see that.
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I... suppose. That being a king has changed me, a bit.
[ He takes a deep breath, frown deepening. ] Why, why is how I've changed funny to you?
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Why is it funny to him?
Wu isn't wrong. Mako's been laughing... not at him, exactly, but around him, because of him, a lot since he got here. He hasn't stopped think about why, really, too preoccupied with the blizzards and Korra's disappearance and trying to push through his fever.
It's definitely not how he's changed that's funny, though. ] I don't think it's that.
I don't think it's being a king that's changed you, either. I think it's... taking responsibility. You didn't have to, before. You had people to do that for you. And, you know, people to cook for you and all that stuff, but you decided not to keep letting that happen, and to do it yourself, and that's what started the change. At least, that I noticed.
[ Mako's brows draw together, hard, and he looks away. He has no idea if he's getting his point across and the familiar discomfort, the sense that he isn't, that he's missing something or messing it up again, sparks uncomfortably under his skin. He swallows around it. ]
I'm not laughing at you, though. I promise. Not like you're thinking.
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It's not like he's not used to being laughed at. That was part of how he survived, a lot of his life. But Mako laughing at him, when he didn't intend for him to? That's what hurts. ]
I-- yes. I am taking responsibility. I saw what not doing that did, to me, to the Earth Kingdom, and, well, to the whole world. [ He grimaces ] It's because I didn't do anything that Kuvira attacked Republic City. I, that, I realized that. In the past few months. [ And since he's been here. It's not his fault, exactly, but he feels like he could have done more to try and stop it from happening.
But there he goes, getting too serious. And Mako is looking at him with that little crease between his eyebrows, and Wu feels too seen, so he adds: ]
But I still didn't cook for myself.
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[ Mako's voice is dry. He doesn't believe that it's Wu's fault in the slightest. ] But I get your point.
I, uh. I guess I'm laughing because I think you're funny.
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Somehow, that wasn't in the realm of possibility of what he thought Mako would say. ] Oh, uh...
That's good.
Then.
[ Why does that make him feel more awkward? His face feels hot and he can't look at Mako, eyes listing to the left of him, at the giant kitchen.
He can't quite help himself from asking: ] Like, funny like "hah-hah" or funny like "what a strange person" funny?
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Kind of both.
Not—before you take it wrong, I think laughing at people to, I don't know, make them feel bad is the worst. I wouldn't do that.
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He glances at Mako, then away. ] Okay. I, I suppose I am a little strange.
[ He rubs his hands together, then swings his arms at his sides. ] That, of course. I didn't mean to imply that you would. I just, you were laughing, a lot, and I'm still, still, the whole thing in the car. [ Wow he's not making any sense now either, but he still feels weird, weird about himself, weird about Mako, weird about being here. ]
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[ Mako's voice is quiet. He lets himself lean back against the counter, pushes back the other egg, finally, so it won't fall too. ]
What'd you tell me when I died, exactly? That talking about it would help?
Take your own advice. Talk about it.
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Wu finally looks at him again, considering ] You didn't want to talk about it.
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[ Oops, he didn't quite mean to snap like that, drops his hands again a second later with a huff. ]
I was trying to get us home in one piece. It wasn't exactly the time to. I don't know. Figure all of that stuff out.
[ Mako, you are not helping. He sucks in a deflated sort of breath, finally looks up at Wu. ]
But. I'll listen. If you need to talk about it.
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[ He glances at Mako, to check, then nods. ] I... I think I said, it would make sense, if these... these things we have to experience, if they're personal, or else why would we be the ones to experience them?
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Wu had said something like that. Mako didn't want to think about it, didn't want to rehash the conversation Lysithea so aptly described as dramatic nonsense. What good would it do? He couldn't possibly have meant those things because he and Wu have never been on a date, aren't even remotely like that.
But Wu's also not wrong. Mako's been shoving all his thoughts about it away, trying not to think about David or his conversation with Korra or any of the confusing uncertain things swirling inside him. It's too much to think about, and he has other things to focus on.
His voice isn't quite as level as he'd like it to be when he finally says something. ] Yeah, you did say that.
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[ Here it comes. Wu sucks in a breath, his eyes somewhere near Mako's feet. His lips quirk a little, seeing that there's still egg on his foot. ] And, well. I think it was trying to get me to think about it. To really think about it. I, I've always liked men. I just wasn't allowed to. Am not allowed to.
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