[Raleigh nods as he focuses on Naga. God her face is so big. She is so soft. So warm. What an amazing companion.]
He was, yeah. Three years older.
[A beat as he thinks about it. About how much to share. What's appropriate. But this is how you keep someone's memory alive, isn't it? You bring them to life in the hearts and memories of others.]
The kind of soldiers we were meant working in teams. Almost always pairs but the Wei triplets were a trio. Yancy and I were a team. Man he was always savin' my ass.
[A soft chuckle and Raleigh shakes his head a little bit before looking up at Mako.]
He was the responsible one. Older, better, more popular. He was really gifted. Everything he tried just came so easily. And when shit got hard he was this.. anchor to shore no matter what. We were so connected.
[Is that a weird thing to say without explaining it? Maybe. Does he realise? No.]
[ It would be weird if Mako didn't kind of know what he was talking about, if he didn't kind of recognize the look on Raleigh's face. It's a look, a feeling, that reaches deep into Mako and tugs at something that's been here since Bolin was born: the knowledge that he's one of two, that he is not really alone.
Except Raleigh is, kind of. Mako isn't the type to romanticize the dead. He's too familiar with the facts of it: that someone is there and then they are gone, that the idea that the dead linger or are with you in your heart is crap because dead parents aren't around to tell you you're doing okay, or hug you, or bring you food. He is intimately familiar with the absence of people.
It's probably that recognition, and maybe the sight of Naga actually nosing close, a little bit more like her normal self, that makes him say in a quiet voice: ] I wouldn't... be here. Without Bolin.
I mean, he's all I have left. The only family. Our parents died when I was eight and it was kind of up to me to, you know, keep him from dying.
[ A soft snort. ] Bet you anything Yancy felt the same way about you. Wanted to keep you out of trouble. Or at least be there with you if you were going to get into it, you know?
[ Mako has no idea, really, the depth of Bolin's admiration, but Bolin talks about him the same way: older and better, talented, capable. Mako is only those things because he has tried to be those things, has tried to be a rock even though his brother's the earthbender. ]
[There comes a small, considered, pregnant silence as Raleigh nods and listens. He knows exactly what Mako means.]
Yeah, he was. He was always there at my back.
[Because they did get into fights, plenty of them, but they were a team through every last one of them.
Until they weren't anymore. And that's on Raleigh. It will always be his cross to bear, a big red M on his chest for murderer.]
He practically raised me.
[Dead parents is a common theme it seems and the tone in his voice says he knows better than to offer sympathies. Sympathy is nice the first ten times but it doesn't help. It doesn't keep a roof over your head or food in your grief twisted belly. But, in the spirit of sharing, and because commiseration is far better than an empty I'm sorry to hear that-]
Our mother died when we were young and when she did our dad bailed for a secret family he'd had all along. He took our sister with him but after that it was just me and Yancy against the world.
I think you would have liked him. Everybody did. Maybe Bolin doesn't tell you enough but no doubt he's grateful for everything you sacrificed to keep him safe.
[ Mako appreciates that more than he'll ever say: it's the one thing he can't take, people telling him they're sorry for things that already happened, saying they're sorry in place of actually doing anything.
He notes the lack of it, in fact, nods his head in a small, grateful acknowledgement as he reaches over to run a hand along one of Naga's massive ears. ]
He tells me in... not words, you know? He's the expressive one. The nice one, really.
[ It is just True and Mako says it as such: with a ring of the often-repeated in his own words, even as his eyebrows rise. ]
[Raleigh doesn't know Bolin at all and maybe it's unfair to project on him like that. Maybe it's unfair to say something he wishes he'd said to his own brother onto Mako.
Step back, Raleigh. Take a breath.
He was never very good at that.]
Sixteen. Crazy, huh. We never saw it coming.
[which isn't as tough as eight, Jesus Christ how did you survive, but it isn't a contest. It's two people recognizing a similarity in each other. An unspoken understanding. I'm like you. I understand.]
But we made it work.. we were better off without him in the long run. His loss, not mine.
[ It's good to hear it all the same, no matter how hard it is for Mako to believe.
He knows he was there, and he knows Bolin appreciates him, but it's one thing to know the facts and another to feel them. It's a weird kind of angry pride. He's glad he was able to step up and do it, and a tiny part of him, long-suppressed, is angry he had to do it in the first place. Mako isn't the type to think about what he could have been if things were different, because things are not and there's no point in wondering about hypotheticals, but circumstances certainly shaped him. ]
Sixteen. You were on your own, after that? Just him and you?
[ More understanding, still, in those words, and an associated softening, because if Raleigh was alone too, if it was just Raleigh and Yancy against everyone else, then he gets it. It's something Mako never knew he needed, and he's finding here that when he finds that, he wants to keep it close. Raleigh's counting more and more among the ranks of "keep them close." ]
Sounds like it was his loss, though. If he chose to leave you behind—
[ Mako shrugs. ]
Easier said than, you know, thought. What happened to you two after that? After he left?
[No use living in the past. Raleigh doesn't. Can't. Won't. He stays in the moment, almost (absolutely) therapeutically. Memories are a funny thing for a man like him, trained to blend into another person at the core of their beings. Memories and thoughts and feelings all blending into one shared between two and harnessed to fight. You have to let them flow through you like water. You can't latch on. Latching, chasing the rabbit, that's what gets you killed.
Some things, though.. some things you never escape.
He nods absently as Mako speaks, yes, sixteen, yes just them, petting Naga and falling a little more in love with her every second my god what a good girl.
There comes another small pause as Raleigh considers his answer, looking up at Mako and shrugging with a lopsided smile.]
Yancy got a job. I stayed in school until we couldn't afford it anymore.. and we made it work. It was hard but we scraped by and then we joined the military. Years before you wouldn't have pegged us for heroes. We are never top of the class but we could hold our own in a fight.. and we had an ability.
[But hm, how to explain it. Ah- he recalls his conversation with Wu.]
Sort of like bending? Well... Not at all actually but in the way that only some people can do it. We had something called Drift Compatibility which is what you need to make the cut for the Jaeger program.
Since he woke up here Mako has had to do a lot of picking up on context clues. He's had to parse out the names of animals, of holidays, of months and years and historical events. Brands, even. Movers and artists. He's got a list at this point because it's too much to keep straight in his head, has been doing his research, although that's all on hold now because he's sick and actively sinking into a chair at their small table, trying to make it look casual.
His head is spinning. His face is hot. It's fine, he just wants to sit down, he doesn't need to be fussed over. He'd rather try and figure out what those two words could possibly mean put together like that, why that makes Raleigh and his dead brother heroes. ]
You're going to have to tell me what the Jaeger program is. A big deal, where you come from? Enough to make you a hero.
[ That's about all he's managed to pick up on, really. His head isn't working right. It's so hot in here. Naga is nosing close to Raleigh, her bulk between the two of them, so maybe Raleigh is too far to feel the heat radiating off Mako. A sick firebender is no small thing. ]
Raleigh watches Mako sit. He's always, always cold so any warmth is noticed but Naga's heat cover's Mako's from where he's standing. He sees the flush in his cheeks. The ache in his joints and bones. Yeah, buddy you are.. you should be laying down.
Jesus, Rals, here you are blabbing on and on about yourself when you only came to deliver food and this guy clearly needs to be resting. You're such an asshole, get out of his house.]
I'll tell you all about it if you really wanna know, but you look like you should go back to bed. Have you taken anything? Medicine?
[ Mako pauses, trying to sort through the fog and the cotton in his brain to pick out the word. It's so hard. He's staring down at the table, his breathing coming harder than he wants it to. It happens only for a second, but on one out-breath there's a little puff of flame under his nose, bright-hot and orange.
He doesn't notice it. Too focused. Also, it's been way too long since he said anything, and the silence is heavy. He looks up at Raleigh after a moment. ]
Uh. Some kind of medicine. I followed the instructions, but I can't sleep. Don't know if that's normal. Never been sick like this. Tell me about it.
[ Mako blinks. Looks down at the table for a scorch mark, then looks back up at Raleigh. ] Did I?
[ Shit, if he did then that means his bending is out of whack, too, which makes sense for being as sick as he is, as hot as he is, but—that's not good. He hasn't tried bending yet.
Slowly, carefully, he lifts a hand—criss-crossed with spiderwebbing tree-branch scars, pink and new-healed—and flicks his fingers. He means for a small flame to hover above his hand.
He does not mean for it to puff up fast with an audible whoosh, although that's precisely what happens. With a startled, bitten-off sound, he flips his hand over, draws it across his own body and flattens his fingers. Thankfully, it goes out.
Mako stares for a second longer, down at his own hand, and then lets out a hissing breath. ] Shit.
Like, logically if he had the time to think about what was happening he would remember what Wu told him about Mako and his extraordinary elemental abilities.
He does not. All he sees is his friend spontaneously bursting into flame like a gas ring and it makes Raleigh jump and jerk forward before he realizes he has- hand raised to..
-to what, Raleigh. What's your plan, here. Slap the fire off him? Cool, he's definitely gonna love that.
Mercifully, it never gets that far because Mako puts himself out but that leaves Raleigh practically on top of the guy like an awkward weirdo.]
Are you okay??
[Stupid question, Raleigh. Obviously he is not.]
Are you hurt?
[Better, now reaching to see his hand. Now he can feel the radiant heat. And.. damn it's a lot.]
Yeah, apparently this just happens when you die. [ That definitely came out a bit more snappish than he intended it to, but to be fair his bending is apparently as out of sorts as the rest of him and Raleigh is half on top of him, and all Mako can think about is October and tearing flames, losing himself to some monstrous thing.
He sucks in a shaky breath and straightens up just enough to accidentally knock his head into Raleigh's, which makes him wince. ] Probably a firebender thing. We don't usually get sick. I'm fine, I haven't burned myself since I was a kid.
[ And then, just to really drive the point home, he cranes his head back, his face flushed hot and his eyes hazy, and says again: ] I'm fine, Raleigh.
[ It is only because Mako is sick that he lets out a small, unhappy groan, letting his head drop forward. ] That sounds awful, why would I do that? It's, uh. Unlikely. That this will kill me.
[ Leaving a note for Bolin about it is a good idea.
Mako does, at least, have the grace to wince slightly, even as exhaustion spirals through him, pulling his head down like a weight. He can get up. Eventually. Or maybe he just sleeps here, at the kitchen table now. ]
Not in my hair. Thank you. For the food, and for.
[ Caring, he almost says, but that's a little too much, even with his head only half-working. ]
[ Naga meets his eyes as gravely as a polarbear dog can and... nods? It was definitely a nod.
She absolutely understands. ]
Don't you dare, Naga.
[ Mako's words are barely mumbled, and Naga licks Raleigh once with her massive, very soft tongue in understand. She will do this, because she is a good girl. ]
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He was, yeah. Three years older.
[A beat as he thinks about it. About how much to share. What's appropriate. But this is how you keep someone's memory alive, isn't it? You bring them to life in the hearts and memories of others.]
The kind of soldiers we were meant working in teams. Almost always pairs but the Wei triplets were a trio. Yancy and I were a team. Man he was always savin' my ass.
[A soft chuckle and Raleigh shakes his head a little bit before looking up at Mako.]
He was the responsible one. Older, better, more popular. He was really gifted. Everything he tried just came so easily. And when shit got hard he was this.. anchor to shore no matter what. We were so connected.
[Is that a weird thing to say without explaining it? Maybe. Does he realise? No.]
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Except Raleigh is, kind of. Mako isn't the type to romanticize the dead. He's too familiar with the facts of it: that someone is there and then they are gone, that the idea that the dead linger or are with you in your heart is crap because dead parents aren't around to tell you you're doing okay, or hug you, or bring you food. He is intimately familiar with the absence of people.
It's probably that recognition, and maybe the sight of Naga actually nosing close, a little bit more like her normal self, that makes him say in a quiet voice: ] I wouldn't... be here. Without Bolin.
I mean, he's all I have left. The only family. Our parents died when I was eight and it was kind of up to me to, you know, keep him from dying.
[ A soft snort. ] Bet you anything Yancy felt the same way about you. Wanted to keep you out of trouble. Or at least be there with you if you were going to get into it, you know?
[ Mako has no idea, really, the depth of Bolin's admiration, but Bolin talks about him the same way: older and better, talented, capable. Mako is only those things because he has tried to be those things, has tried to be a rock even though his brother's the earthbender. ]
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Yeah, he was. He was always there at my back.
[Because they did get into fights, plenty of them, but they were a team through every last one of them.
Until they weren't anymore. And that's on Raleigh. It will always be his cross to bear, a big red M on his chest for murderer.]
He practically raised me.
[Dead parents is a common theme it seems and the tone in his voice says he knows better than to offer sympathies. Sympathy is nice the first ten times but it doesn't help. It doesn't keep a roof over your head or food in your grief twisted belly. But, in the spirit of sharing, and because commiseration is far better than an empty I'm sorry to hear that-]
Our mother died when we were young and when she did our dad bailed for a secret family he'd had all along. He took our sister with him but after that it was just me and Yancy against the world.
I think you would have liked him. Everybody did. Maybe Bolin doesn't tell you enough but no doubt he's grateful for everything you sacrificed to keep him safe.
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He notes the lack of it, in fact, nods his head in a small, grateful acknowledgement as he reaches over to run a hand along one of Naga's massive ears. ]
He tells me in... not words, you know? He's the expressive one. The nice one, really.
[ It is just True and Mako says it as such: with a ring of the often-repeated in his own words, even as his eyebrows rise. ]
A, uh. A secret family?? How old were you?
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Step back, Raleigh. Take a breath.
He was never very good at that.]
Sixteen. Crazy, huh. We never saw it coming.
[which isn't as tough as eight, Jesus Christ how did you survive, but it isn't a contest. It's two people recognizing a similarity in each other. An unspoken understanding. I'm like you. I understand.]
But we made it work.. we were better off without him in the long run. His loss, not mine.
[Still bitter? Absolutely.]
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He knows he was there, and he knows Bolin appreciates him, but it's one thing to know the facts and another to feel them. It's a weird kind of angry pride. He's glad he was able to step up and do it, and a tiny part of him, long-suppressed, is angry he had to do it in the first place. Mako isn't the type to think about what he could have been if things were different, because things are not and there's no point in wondering about hypotheticals, but circumstances certainly shaped him. ]
Sixteen. You were on your own, after that? Just him and you?
[ More understanding, still, in those words, and an associated softening, because if Raleigh was alone too, if it was just Raleigh and Yancy against everyone else, then he gets it. It's something Mako never knew he needed, and he's finding here that when he finds that, he wants to keep it close. Raleigh's counting more and more among the ranks of "keep them close." ]
Sounds like it was his loss, though. If he chose to leave you behind—
[ Mako shrugs. ]
Easier said than, you know, thought. What happened to you two after that? After he left?
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Some things, though.. some things you never escape.
He nods absently as Mako speaks, yes, sixteen, yes just them, petting Naga and falling a little more in love with her every second my god what a good girl.
There comes another small pause as Raleigh considers his answer, looking up at Mako and shrugging with a lopsided smile.]
Yancy got a job. I stayed in school until we couldn't afford it anymore.. and we made it work. It was hard but we scraped by and then we joined the military. Years before you wouldn't have pegged us for heroes. We are never top of the class but we could hold our own in a fight.. and we had an ability.
[But hm, how to explain it. Ah- he recalls his conversation with Wu.]
Sort of like bending? Well... Not at all actually but in the way that only some people can do it. We had something called Drift Compatibility which is what you need to make the cut for the Jaeger program.
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Since he woke up here Mako has had to do a lot of picking up on context clues. He's had to parse out the names of animals, of holidays, of months and years and historical events. Brands, even. Movers and artists. He's got a list at this point because it's too much to keep straight in his head, has been doing his research, although that's all on hold now because he's sick and actively sinking into a chair at their small table, trying to make it look casual.
His head is spinning. His face is hot. It's fine, he just wants to sit down, he doesn't need to be fussed over. He'd rather try and figure out what those two words could possibly mean put together like that, why that makes Raleigh and his dead brother heroes. ]
You're going to have to tell me what the Jaeger program is. A big deal, where you come from? Enough to make you a hero.
[ That's about all he's managed to pick up on, really. His head isn't working right. It's so hot in here. Naga is nosing close to Raleigh, her bulk between the two of them, so maybe Raleigh is too far to feel the heat radiating off Mako. A sick firebender is no small thing. ]
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Raleigh watches Mako sit. He's always, always cold so any warmth is noticed but Naga's heat cover's Mako's from where he's standing. He sees the flush in his cheeks. The ache in his joints and bones. Yeah, buddy you are.. you should be laying down.
Jesus, Rals, here you are blabbing on and on about yourself when you only came to deliver food and this guy clearly needs to be resting. You're such an asshole, get out of his house.]
I'll tell you all about it if you really wanna know, but you look like you should go back to bed. Have you taken anything? Medicine?
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[ Mako pauses, trying to sort through the fog and the cotton in his brain to pick out the word. It's so hard. He's staring down at the table, his breathing coming harder than he wants it to. It happens only for a second, but on one out-breath there's a little puff of flame under his nose, bright-hot and orange.
He doesn't notice it. Too focused. Also, it's been way too long since he said anything, and the silence is heavy. He looks up at Raleigh after a moment. ]
Uh. Some kind of medicine. I followed the instructions, but I can't sleep. Don't know if that's normal. Never been sick like this. Tell me about it.
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Did- did you just breathe fire?
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[ Shit, if he did then that means his bending is out of whack, too, which makes sense for being as sick as he is, as hot as he is, but—that's not good. He hasn't tried bending yet.
Slowly, carefully, he lifts a hand—criss-crossed with spiderwebbing tree-branch scars, pink and new-healed—and flicks his fingers. He means for a small flame to hover above his hand.
He does not mean for it to puff up fast with an audible whoosh, although that's precisely what happens. With a startled, bitten-off sound, he flips his hand over, draws it across his own body and flattens his fingers. Thankfully, it goes out.
Mako stares for a second longer, down at his own hand, and then lets out a hissing breath. ] Shit.
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Like, logically if he had the time to think about what was happening he would remember what Wu told him about Mako and his extraordinary elemental abilities.
He does not. All he sees is his friend spontaneously bursting into flame like a gas ring and it makes Raleigh jump and jerk forward before he realizes he has- hand raised to..
-to what, Raleigh. What's your plan, here. Slap the fire off him? Cool, he's definitely gonna love that.
Mercifully, it never gets that far because Mako puts himself out but that leaves Raleigh practically on top of the guy like an awkward weirdo.]
Are you okay??
[Stupid question, Raleigh. Obviously he is not.]
Are you hurt?
[Better, now reaching to see his hand. Now he can feel the radiant heat. And.. damn it's a lot.]
Mako, you're burning up.
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He sucks in a shaky breath and straightens up just enough to accidentally knock his head into Raleigh's, which makes him wince. ] Probably a firebender thing. We don't usually get sick. I'm fine, I haven't burned myself since I was a kid.
[ And then, just to really drive the point home, he cranes his head back, his face flushed hot and his eyes hazy, and says again: ] I'm fine, Raleigh.
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Yeah... Okay.
[Backing off a little, but just a little.]
We should try'n break your fever. You're not gonna like it but a cold shower'll help.
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[ AKA no why he doesn't want to ]
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[Could you imagine? Dying and then dying again because of death flu? Jesus.]
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[ Raleigh is running up against a wall of stubbornness that Mako is usually—when he's well—too practical to let rule him like this. ]
That doesn't make any sense. I'll be fine.
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He tries again.
He is not a smart man, nor has he ever pretend to be. But that.. Mako. No.]
That isn't..
[How fevers work. At all. But he isn't going to push it too far, Mako knows his body, right? He hopes.. maybe he'll leave a note for Bolin about it.
Sigh.]
Yeah, okay.
Should I get outta your hair?
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Mako does, at least, have the grace to wince slightly, even as exhaustion spirals through him, pulling his head down like a weight. He can get up. Eventually. Or maybe he just sleeps here, at the kitchen table now. ]
Not in my hair. Thank you. For the food, and for.
[ Caring, he almost says, but that's a little too much, even with his head only half-working. ]
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[Raleigh watches for a beat, brows gently knit before he whistles to get Naga's attention. He isn't sure if polarbear dogs understand human but]
Naga, keep an eye on him, okay? If he starts getting bad you need to put him in the snow. Understand?
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She absolutely understands. ]
Don't you dare, Naga.
[ Mako's words are barely mumbled, and Naga licks Raleigh once with her massive, very soft tongue in understand. She will do this, because she is a good girl. ]
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Raleigh smiles and nods to Naga (who is clearly the best girl) before squeezing Mako's shoulder and seeing himself out.]